Spiders

In case you don't know what a spider is, it's an eight-legged arachnid that usually has eight eyes. In case you don't know what an arachnid is, it's "any wingless, carnivorous arthropod of the class Arachnida, including spiders, scorpions, mites, ticks, and daddy-longlegs, having a body divided into two parts, the cephalothorax and the abdomen, and having eight appendages and no antennae. Compare insect." -* Kinda gross.

Spiders are creepy, crawly things that some people say are living beings, and they should be treated like people. If they're supposed to be treated like people, they would be people and wouldn't be small enough to flush into the Caverns of Waste that scientists found built underground.

Sometimes, spiders really are amazing! They can be written into books, directed into movies, and posted on blogs like this one! (But since you are reading about spiders on this blog, this blog doesn't have a life. Especially one of it's own. The authors channel the life from nature into the blog and now, if you stay on this page long enough, you will see some of the magic flowing out of the blog as a border, through your computer screen, and into wherever you are! If you're lucky, you can catch it, so read this blog a ton! An elephant easily weighs a couple tons. A spider does not weigh anything near a ton.)

When a spider is in a movie, it can write words! Words like "terrific!" Then it becomes famous. But more, it makes a pig famous. A very famous pig becomes famous. But it wasn't famous before he got famous. Before, some farmers wanted to make the pig ham and bacon for their Christmas feast! Some girl loved this pig, and didn't want to eat him (that's why you don't name the pig.) Then a spider comes to save him with Word Power!

Some Greek people thought spiders started when this Arachne lady loved to weave and all that stuff. She challenged Athena and either won or lost. Athena turned her into a spider so she could spin webs and make more spiders! Now we have gross webs and annoying little creatures that eat ladybugs.

Spiders like to gather around in a circle and dance. Then they find a secret hide-out in your water pipes. Then you find them. Then you get them out with their natural dreaded enemy: water (which is funny since they hide in water pipes.) Then they're gone, and they decide they don't want to come back. That's good, because you don't want them back, and they can't come back anyway.

Spiders are the size of smaller than dimes and things. They like to measure themselves on currency from around the world, then they spend it and buy a candy bar that will last them forever. And ever. And infinity. And beyond. With a candy bar.

Randum Truth: When your local grocery/convenience/everything/toy store tells you that "You've saved $500," they really mean "We've raised the price on everything to make you feel good! We've watched every move that you've made in this store, and we've counted the total amount that we charged you that we didn't really need to. You're happy about giving us $500!"

*Dictionary.com, an Ask.com service that they get paid for.