Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is commonly called Turkey Day. Why is that? It's because Thanksgiving is the day that every American is jealous of how famous all the turkeys suddenly are for a day. Why can't humans get that kind of popularity so fast? No one wants to eat you, so it's a little harder. Justin Bieber used to be a turkey, but then he met a magical sorcerer on Thanksgiving who found a loophole for Justin. This wizard was Usher, who taught Justin how to wear jewels, colorful watches, and hair covering all of his head except for his eyes. Ninja!

Thanksgiving is the day that you can stuff yourself with the foods that you WANT to eat! There's turkey, rolls, fruit, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry jelly, and PIES! You can eat as much as you want because there's so much food that it will never run out!

Thanksgiving started when pilgrims sailed across the treacherous sea to settle in "New England." They began new lives on the new continent, and they finally got through the winter. They built homes, met Indians, grew corn, and most importantly, some of them survived! In celebration, they had a big party with quarter-ton helium balloons shaped like Santa Claus. Then they lost their balloon, so they were only able to have a big dinner and play the Charlie Brown theme song with the Indians.

One of the other fun parts of Thanksgiving is that you get to travel, or your family and friends travel to you so you don't have to spend the time being carsick. They come all that way to make you pies that you can stuff yourself with until they run out, usually about a week.

Sometimes, people will stuff a Jack-in-the-Box into some of the food. You dig your fork into the turkey, which turns the crank just enough that a boy springs out of your food! You scream, "AAAH!" The plastic boy looks right at you and screams, "AAAH!" Then the boy eats your pie. After that, you eat him.

After Thanksgiving is Black Friday, when everyone goes crazy at 4:00 in the morning to go shopping. The prices of everything go ridiculously low, and everyone wants to buy everything that they don't need before anyone else buys it.

Right after the holiday craziness, everyone sleeps through the whole weekend. The people try to finish off the leftover food, and Thanksgiving lasts for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for a few more days.

Randum Truth: Pickle trees are actually cucumber trees which scientists have taken into their secret labs and drowned in vinegar. Sadly, the scientists have used this ability for their own, selfish use and sold these pickles in jars for everyone to buy and eat. They make the scientists rich, but there is hope: Wal-Mart! Wal-Mart broke into these secret lab, (if the cops ask, they did no such thing,) and they started to sell the pickles for The Peoples' sake. Soon, other companies did the same, so now we have pickles! (Some say that pickles are cucumbers soaked in evil, but really, they are grown on cucumber trees which are soaked in evil.)