Taxis

Do you live in a big city? Is the city big enough that you can call a taxi anywhere you are? Do you wish you wish you did? The experience is delicious, smelly, and tragic.

You get in the taxi, and someone has stuck gum in the window. Someone had stretched it across the whole window, and then the taxi driver tried to clean it up. You could see that in the process of cleaning it, someone demanded a ride, so he had to get back into his driver's seat pretending that nothing had happened. If somebody asked, he would tell them, "I was lazy, and I napped. Don't tell anyone, please!" That would get the driver out of trouble; it's called a decoy.

Other than the gum, the occasional flies, and maybe a little jealousy, the taxi is pretty well kept! If it wasn't, then the taxi company would fine them and make them generously buy a whole new car. Of course, the driver would "choose to willingly pay it generously" just to make the company happy.

Taxi drivers don't get much of a break. They get about 2 hours and 37 minutes to sleep every night, so the drivers have to make their own breaks and hope that nobody finds out. Since people are always under the influence that any empty taxi driving around can give them a ride, they call any taxi and EVERY taxi. First, they realize they need to get somewhere. Then they realize that they never bought a car. After that, they run outside to call a taxi. They look closely into the back windows of every taxi, and when nobody is in it, they'll call the taxi. If they taxi doesn't pull over, they'll record the license plate and call the cops.

The taxi driver can always deny that they didn't stop, or maybe say that they didn't see the person. Most of the time it doesn't work, and the drivers are driving on thin ice anyway. They almost have no choice but to pull over for the customer. The passenger tells the driver where they want to go, and a light turns on inside the head of the driver. There's a coffee shop along that rode, the taxi driver remembers, The passenger won't mind if I stop there for just a minute.

The taxi driver says, "Coming right up! Just relax, and go to sleep while we drive." Then he stops to get a donut, but coffee shops have special donuts for their best customers. The taxi drivers get taxi-shaped donuts! Then the driver is satisfied and feels appreciated. After that he can drive the passenger to the destination, so they are happy too, and everything works out perfectly in the land of taxis!