Mold.

If you speak Aragouhaytian, then you have probably never tasted a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich. Unless you have. But usually you haven't. Otherwise, you have probably eaten a sandwich of some kind. PB&J used to FLABBERGAST you... the first two times you've ate one. After that, they got boring and tasted gross and you hated them.

Even when it seems that a PB&J can't get any better worse, it can. If your mom only makes you a PB&J for lunch, then I would suggest you make your own lunch. If you're too lazy, then you are probably going to leave the sandwich and skip lunch. Eventually your sandwich will get moldy! It's going to become hairy and turn colors, but that's cool! You're going to want to join the festivities and touch the sandwich. You're going to think "whoa, it's so fuzzy and I wanna eat it now!" But that isn't a good idea, for the colored hair (called mold) will grow inside your stomach. It will double, then triple, and you will grow a juniper bonsai tree inside your stomach. Then you turn Chinese (and if you're already Chinese, you'll either become more Chinese, or you'll become Japanese er somethin'.)

Have you ever had rhubarb? How about rhubarb pie, with strawberries? It's always really good! Rhubarb, when used correctly, makes things so much better! It's like sweet & sour celery, except better! Red, green, sweet, sour, chewy, crunchy, yum!

Rhubarb is best when it's fresh, because after a while, it will grow a colorful beard and handlebar mustache. This is a problem because rhubarb can't shave, and the poisonous leaf hair is already too much.

Moldy rhubarb could make you sick, for it will grow a rhubarb bush in your lungs. You'll be breathing the rhuBarbie Theme Song Parody for a decade!

Some people will try to freak you out by saying that when you eat watermelon seeds, then you'll grow a watermelon inside your stomach. That statement is not true at all! If it's a moldy watermelon seed, then you WILL grow a watermelon inside your stomach. Growing a watermelon in your stomach is actually good! I would even recommend that you grow threewatermelons, for then you would not have to eat for three days! You'd be set with healthy food that you would never have to taste!

If a three year old ever takes you to their "dungeon" under the stairs, then demand a slice of watermelon as your last wish. The kid will lock you there and forget about you, but you can eat the watermelon to survive! Then you'll also have the seeds growing inside of you after you have ran out of this red melon fruit. A watermelon usually contains about 6-thousand-bajillion-zillion seeds, so you will feel healthy for, well, forever! Unluckily, you don't get to try it out, because after a few minutes when the kid's mom realizes that her prize watermelon is missing she'll go looking for the kid. Then she will ask where you are, and the kid starts crying and tells his mom where you are. Afterward, she unlocks the door and you have to watch football since the kid is in time-out.

At the end of the day, you look back at what happened, and you realize that watermelons can take you back in history to the time when Abraham Lincoln ate the first hot dog in America. Then you realize that's the time when Walt Disney started to create Disney, and he made Mickey Mouse say "Hot Dog!" as a catch phrase.

Randum DUH of the Day: You'll never see a spider walk or run. You can only see it waltz the Tomautoe.