Chocolate

Chocolate is food. You could live off of it! When you open a bar of chocolate, your eyes are amazed, and suddenly you are cured from anything! This is only temporary though, because when you stop eating the chocolate you are back to normal. This is why people love chocolate! The more you eat, the better you feel! This makes chocolate healthy, but adults can only see the semi-bad thing about the chocolate: sugar. Sugar is actually healthy too, because it's a plant and it makes you feel better, but the adults process it with little bugs that rot away your teeth just so they don't have to bother going to a grocery store to get a candy bar.

Chocolate can even be used as medicine! In Harry Potter, Harry eats chocolate to make himself get better, and two seconds later he's better than normal and they can start a new scene fighting monsters with his stick that's been snapped in half so he can hold it between two of his fingers and wave it around. This isn't very useful when a monster can eat the life out of you and you're poking it with a stick. Somehow, when Harry eats the chocolate, he can still defeat the monsters with the undersized stick!

When you feel hungry, you can eat chocolate. When you feel thirsty, you can drink chocolate. When you suddenly want to smell chocolate, you can do that also.

Shrimp, unlike chocolate, makes me angry. The shrimp screams, "Eat me, eat me," but I don't want to. So I say, "no." Then it runs away crying, and becomes jealous of salsa! I do love me some chips and salsa!

There's also ice cream running around in the world. I always love some ice cream! Especially after dinner when I think I've stuffed myself, but then someone mentions ice cream and I'm hungry again! But if it turns out that there wasn't actually any ice cream, I feel so full that I can't walk.

Ice cream is amazing, and chocolate is amazing. You put them together and you get chocolate cream! Or ice chocolate! Anyway, they are amazing. Everyone loves them, unless you don't, but that's almost not possible.

When you're sick, and your parent brings you a spoonful of "medicinal goop," you can simply say, "Just give me chocolate. It's the perfect medicine." Then you eat some chocolate and you're cured.

Hooray.

There's also strawberries. And strawberries dipped in chocolate. And any fruit dipped in chocolate. You can't go wrong when you're dipping something in chocolate, usually. That's why some people have chocolate fountains, especially me! It gives you chocolate covered delight whenever wanted, which is always of course.

I can't think of any way that a chocolate fountain couldn't make something better, I mean, how could it be possible? If you want a chocolate fountain of your own, call now at 1 (800) 555-6285. We will give you a chocolate fountain out of the goodness of our hearts. We will also pay you -$60 every month for 8 months! Or you could simply go dumpster diving in your neighbors' recycling bin (it's recycling, even if it says "TRASH," they want it to be used again! And you have a very good chance of a chocolate fountain being in the wonderful can of smells and delight!)

Remember, All's fair in love and MORE!