Sports

Sports are fun! At least most are! Unless you're an elephant. Then you should avoid sports with your life. Some fun sports are bowling, the luge, and goat dancing! But if you want to attempt a sport you need to be properly equipped! Goat dancers always keep an extra pair of overalls with them just in case! Most sports you need something! Basketball needs basketballs! Football needs footballs. Soccer needs soccer balls!

The only sport that doesn't need anything is competitive Being-Bored... all you do is go and do nothing. It is the worlds hardest, and most dangerous sport! Many have tried and failed! Here's a quick list of famous people who've tried!

Manny Ramirez

Brett Favre

Harry Potter

Steve from apartment 6D

Charlie the Unicorn

And.....

Scarlet Johansson!

Sports are like, and compared to, chasing a butterfly. One day you see it, the next day it has flown to Alabama. You buy a lacrosse stick to catch the ball, A.K.A. the butterfly, and everyone cheers as you go after it, specifically your mom. Then you catch it! Or at least you think you did. When you take off the net, you look to find that you really only caught a few flying seeds to a rare weed that scientists of all sorts have been trying to nail for years (Disclaimer: By "scientists," I mean people of no specific type who like to study no specific type of thing, read classic books, and pretend that they are just housewives making dinner for the neighborhood party. By "nail," I mean literally nail the weed to the orange wall in someone's garage for them to find and deal with, because nobody likes a weed taking over their backyard!)

To play sports, you need to be big and strong! You've got to eat your greens, mushrooms (not so greens,) and chocolate! Chocolate has the power to start you up and get you rolling! It makes you hyper and starts making you run around, which really makes you stronger! Eat your chocolate kids.

As you can see, America is a sporty place. To take the slogan of a company that we are not obliged to use, "America runs on sports."

Randum Fact: The Internet has saved over .3 lives! And that includes George Clooney!