Signs

Signs are everywhere, telling you what to do or not do! They could say "No crossing," or "Children Crossing!" They could tell you to stop, what the speed limit is, or just to keep driving as long as you're not drunk. They could tell you to "Eat Here NOW," or even "Come visit me, please?" Signs come in varieties and can get very... odd, to put it lightly.

When you drive past a school, there could be a sign telling you "School Zone, In case you didn't know." Sometimes there's a sign with people carrying briefcases, which is completely irrelevant since nobody carries those around anymore, especially school aged kids. On the other hand, sometimes the signs across the street from a schoolyard can be relevant! Sometimes they say "SLOW children at play!"

When you travel on the freeway, the billboards line the sides. They convince you to buy they're product, and just about everything else. Some tell you "Free massage, visit our building now!" By "details," they mean "It's free if you pay for it, or if you pay triple on this expensive taco."

While traveling long distances in your car, you may need to stop every once in a while in a deserted place. Desperate business owners in the middle of nowhere place signs along the road to notify you of their rest stop. These say "Only donut shop and bathroom within 150 miles," which would be lying because another person is trying the same thing a few miles away, and they are both sabotage each other's signs. That means that sign making is a good business since that's where the competition is!

Even when you go hiking there are signs along the trail. They tell you to look out for snakes, falling rocks, giant balls of snow rolling down the trail, somehow staying on it, with heads of all kinds of people and animals sticking out the sides. Most of the time, signs warn you of something, especially signs saying "yield," "speed limit," "dead end: turn back now," "STOP," "don't hit the pedestrians," "monster cave, do NOT enter," "uncontrollable trains crossing!" There are some signs that you must be extra careful to watch out for: "Sweaty Men at Work," "Share the road... with Casper," "Oncoming traffic: May be directed to drive in circles for hours until I say stop,""Sheep Patrol Roads Ahead," and "Caution: Papercuts!"

The most tragic signs can be found anywhere: on the road, at the playground, in the house, on the internet, on TV, and even your cousin's garden! They say things like "No football field for 300 miles," "No internet connectivity while near," "Television not accepted within these doors," or "No electric lights, only candles accepted!"

Most signs only cause problems and make you miserable. You should avoid signs at all costs, except for if it's not possible to not read a sign. If you do manage to stay away from them, you probably won't get in trouble with any government with your area! ...unless you do something bad, because most bad things aren't mentioned in signs. But on the other hand, some signs are good, and so are rules. So stay in school kids.

You know how a few million years ago, people used broomsticks to get around? It's not that way anymore. Year after year, transportation has changed. It came from broomsticks, to flying, to jumping, to walking, and more walking, then more walking, and bicycles, then trains, then cars, then buses, then even airplanes! After all this time, the human population has found better, permanent ways. We have evolved to the use of Rollerblades! They're fast, fun, and after a while, they won't hurt your ankles anymore!

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